Black Coffee

The Playhouse A Satyr,

by Robert Gould,

1685

The Middle Galle'ry first demands our View; The filth of Jakes, and stench of ev'ry Stew! Here reeking Punks like Ev'ning Insects swarm; The Polecat's Perfume much the Happier Charm...

Discreet in this, their Faces not to shew; The Mask the best Complexion of the two. Their Noses falling and their Eyes sunk in, A wrinkl'd Forehead and a Parchment Skin...

Choak't with the stench of Brimstone, 'twill be fit To Visit next the Boxes and the Pit, And for the Muse a Nobler Scene prepare, And let Her breathe awhile in Milder Air.

But such a sudden Glare invades her Eyes, So vast a Crowd of diffe'rent Vanities, She knows where not to fix her Rancour first; So very Wicked all, that all are worst!...

Such Giddy Insects here for ever come, And very little Dare, but much Presume: Perpetually the Ladies Ears they Ply, And whisper Slander at the Standers by:

Then laugh aloud; which now is grown a part Of Play-house Breeding, and of Courtly Art. The true Sign of Your Modish Beau Garson Is Chatt'ring like a Ladies lewd Baboon,

Shewing their Teeth to charm some pretty creature; For Grinning, amoung Fops, is held a Feature...
All People now, the Place is grown so ill, Before they see a Play shou'd make their Will:

For with much more Security , a Man Might take a three Years Voyage to Japan.

Having walked north from Westminster Abbey we probably have an hour or two before Drury Lane theatre begins the evening performance, and since we're in the vicinity of several coffee houses it seems a good place to stop, wet our whistles and ask about what's playing.

Inside the atmosphere of mouth-watering coffee scent is underlaid by the whiff of smoke from clay pipes. The variety of coffees and chocolate on offer is bewildering, with so many spices and roasts to choose from I think we would be justified in spending a few minutes considering before we choose.

I'm glad you insisted on Will's Coffee House (can't miss it, look for the sign of the Rose), rather than the Turk's Head which I thought looked like a good bet. I've heard several people discussing recent plays since we settled at this table. The impression I get is that most of the plays aren't staged for very long; a week or two at most and the audiences are ready for something new.

The small huddle of gentlemen engaged in conversation a few tables over has been dwindling since we came in, and now the last two have left and I recognize the face of Mr.Dryden. I think we should invite him to join us at our table.

"Have I the honour of addressing Mr. Dryden?"

"You have, sir. Though few enough would count it an honour these days."

"Then might I invite you to share our table for a few minutes, and we shall count it both an honour and a pleasure, sir."

What I am hoping is that we might be able to find out if any of Dryden's plays are currently on the stage, but it seems that since he lost his position as Poet Laureate seven years ago, even his plays have lost their lustre with the public. I can quite understand his slightly melancholy mood.

However, as he tells us, he is free now to work on something that has interested him since his collegiate days; a translation of the works of Publius Virgilius Maro. Once he starts explaining the fascination of the classical poet's works, his face lights up with a new enthusiasm.

Returning eventually to the question of the London stage, I ask whether he knows what is playing at present, that might be worth the cost of admission.

It seems that the only play he feels would be worth our time, and that more for the theatrical music than the play itself, is a revival of Abdelazer, or The Moor's Revenge by the late Aphra Behn, as a series of benefit performances for the widow of Michael Mohun. Although she was widowed more than a decade ago, she has always been supportive of the acting community, and being unable to work because of increasingly painful arthritis, reluctantly sought their help.

While we are talking, we are joined once more by the familiar figure of Mr.Pepys. As soon as introductions have been made (I am flattered that Samuel Pepys remembers us by the sound of our voices, from our previous encounter in the Lloyds Coffee House), Mr.Pepys cautions us against the Orange Girls.

These traders visit the playhouses to sell fruit at extortionate prices, and Pepys himself tells us how:

The orange-woman did come in the pit and challenge me for twelve oranges, which she delivered by my order at a late play, at night, to give to some ladies in a box, which was wholly untrue, but yet she swore it to be true. But, however, I did deny it, and did not pay her; but , for quiet, did buy 4s.¹ worth of oranges of her, at 6d. a-piece.'

Dryden summarises the play for us as follows: it was published in 1657 and tells the story of a vengeful wicked Moor, whose kingdom has been vanquished by Spain, who tires of his affair with the lascivious Queen of Spain and plots with her to murder the King, thinking to murder her afterwards, and reign with his innocent young wife. However, the Queen in her turn kills his wife, and plots to take her son’s throne. It is full of action with armies engaged on stage, people in disguise escaping from imprisonment and torture and a final act in which the wicked are punished and the good prince wins the throne.²

If Mr.Dryden felt that the music for the play was better than the play itself, I can hardly disagree with him. From the play, here is Mr. Henry Purcell's Rondeau.

X:4 % number T:Rondeau % title C:Henry Purcell % composer O:Music for Abdelazer or The Moor's Revenge (Dolce Edition) % origin. M:3/4 % meter L:1/8 % length of shortest note Q: % tempo P:ABACA %%staves Sop | {Hr1 Hr2 Hl} V:Sop name="Soprano" sname="S." clef=treble V:Hr1 name="Harpsichord" sname="Hp." clef=treble V:Hr2 clef=treble V:Hl clef=bass K:F % key P:A %1===============================2====================3================4================= [V:Sop]|: D2 F2 A2 | de/f/ g/f/e/d/ ^c2 | ad/f/ a/f/d b2 | gc/e/ g/e/c a2 | [V:Hr1]|: [FDA,]2 [FDA,]2 [EA,]2 | F G/A/ B2 [AE^C]2 | A2 d2 d/B/G | [cGC]4 c/A/F | [V:Hr2]|: Z | D2 DG z2 | D4 z2 | Z | [V:Hl] |: d2 d2 c2 | B2 G2 A2 | f4 g2 | e4 f2 | % %5=====================6=================7=======================8========================== [V:Sop] fB/d/ f/d/B g2 | eA/^c/ e/c/A f2 | e/f/e/d/ ^cf e/f/e/d/ | Ad ^c/d/e/c/ !fine! d2 :| [V:Hr1] [BFD]4 B/G/E | [AEA,]4 A/F/D | [BD]2 [AE^C]2 [GD]2 | GF E2 [FDA,]2 :| [V:Hr2] Z | Z | Z | ^CD A,2 z2 :| [V:Hl] d4 e2 | ^c4 d2 | G2 A2 B2 | A4 d2 :| % P:B %9========================10=====================11=====================12===================== [V:Sop] F2 A2 c2 | fg/a/ b/a/g/f/ ef/g/ | ab/a/ ga/g/ fF/G/ | ab/a/ ga/g/ Ff/e/ | [V:Hr1] [CA,]2 [FC]2 [GC]2 | AB/c/ [dBF]2 [cGE]2 | [cAF]2 [cGC]2 A=B | [cE]2 [GE]2 [cFC]2 | [V:Hr2] Z | F2 z2 z2 | z2 z2 F2 | Z | [V:Hl] f4 e2 | d2 B2 c2 | c2 B2 A2 | c2 B2 A2 | % %13=========================14====================15====================16============================ [V:Sop] de/d/ cd/c/ Bg/f/ | ef/e/ de/d/ Ca/g/ | fg/f/ ef/e/ dg | cf e/f/g/e/ f2 || [V:Hr1] [BFD]2 [cFC]2 [BGD]2 | [GEC]2 [GD]2 [AEC]2 | [AFD]2 [AE]2 AB/A/ | [GE][AF] [GEC]2 [AFC]2 || [V:Hr2] Z | Z | z2 z2 FD | Z || [V:Hl] B2 A2 G2 | c2 B2 A2 | d2 c2 B2 | c4 F2 || % P:C %17===============================18============================19============================= [V:Sop] !trill! c>d c/d/e f/e/d/c/ | !trill! =B>c B/c/d e/d/c/B/ | !trill! c>d c/d/e f/e/d/c/ | [V:Hr1] [AEC]4 [cE]2 | [=BE]4 [BE]2 | [AEC]4 [AFD]2 | [V:Hr2] Z | Z | Z | [V:Hl] a2 A2 a2 | ^f2 e2 g2 | a2 A2 d2 | % %20======================21============================22===========================23============================= [V:Sop] !trill! c3 =B A2 | !trill! e>f e/f/g a/g/f/e/ | !trill! f>g f/g/a b/a/g/f/ | !trill! e>f e/f/g a/g/f/e/ | [V:Hr1] A2 ^G2 [AEC]2 | ^c>d c/d/e f/e/d/c/ | d>e d/e/f g/f/e/d/ | ^c>d c/d/e f/e/d/c/ | [V:Hr2] [E=B,]4 z2 | [AE]4 A2 | A4 B2 | A4 A2 | [V:Hl] e4 A2 | a2 ^c'2 a2 | d'2 d2 g2 | a2 A2 d2 | % %24=========================================== [V:Sop][L:1/32] f6g2 !trill! g6fg !D.C.! a8 || [V:Hr1] [dAF]2 [dGD]2 [^cAE]2 || [V:Hr2] Z || [V:Hl] dc B2 A2 || To convert the code above to sheet music, or listen to the tunes, copy the code for a single song, then paste it here and [submit]. If you know the music of Benjamin Britten, you might also recognize this as the theme for his "Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra".

Notes

1. English currency before decimalisation:

Pounds	Shillings	Pence
£	s.	d.

2. I would like to acknowledge Dawn Lewcock's article for a summary of the plot.

The Queen is dead. Long Live the King.

"'at's Queen Mary. She choked on a plum."
"she did not. You bin listenin' to Possle again encha? 'E don't know nuffin' so 'e makes it up."
My two young advisers are a couple of Thames mudlarks, urchins who, in the absence of better employment, contribute to their families welfare by searching the mud of the riverbank at low tide for dropped valuables and the occasional coin. Although they're equally likely to be found knocking hats off unwary heads with a well-aimed stone. And only the sharpest wits are ever likely to see exactly where the missile originated.
"'ere 'e is nah. Wotcha Possle!"
"Permit me to introduce myself sirs. I have the honour to be your humble servant, Oliver Postlethwaite, apothecary surgeon".
Possle is a rather tatty-looking character with stockings that don't quite match and a pervasive odour of stale urine.
"If I may be so bold sir, your complexion suggests that you suffer from a weakness of the stones, for which I can offer a very efficacious remedy."
He may be half-wasted, but Possle's diagnosis is worryingly accurate, at least to the point of identifying that I have a very feminine appearance.
We are here on the edges of a crowd that is still assembling outside Westminster Abbey to pay our final respects to the late Queen Mary(or just take advantage of an excuse to close the shop for an hour or two). As the funeral procession approaches, the drumbeat changes while remaining consistent.
Tan tan tan ta-ta tan
Tan ta-ta tan tan tan
Ta-ta tan tan ta-ta tan
Tan tan ta-ta tan tan
Until inside the abbey, a final TAN-TAN! marks the halt. I can't see anybody signalling from here at the back of the crowd, but it seems somebody has performed a very deft sleight-of-hand, because, precisely as the catafalque entered the abbey, the organ began a sombre tune in perfect time to the drumbeat.
Among the other vendors working the crowd is a ballad-seller with something very unusual, and very interesting to me: a copy of Purcell's Ode on the Birthday of Queen Mary composed only eight months earlier for the celebrations.

X:3 T:Strike the viol % title C:Henry Purcell % composer O:William F. Long transcription % origin. N:http://www.drdrbill.com/music.html M:3/4 % meter L:1/8 % length of shortest note Q:60 % tempo %%staves Ct { ( Hr1 Hr2 ) ( Hl ) } V:Ct name="Countertenor" sname="Ct" % voice 1 V:Hr1 name="Harpsichord" sname="Hp" clef=treble V:Hr2 clef=treble V:Hl clef=bass K:C % key %1======================2============================3==================4============================= [V:Ct] Z | Z |: e>d c2 dB | c2 A2 z2 | w:Strike__ the_ vi-ol, [V:Hr1] [ECA,]4 [EDB,]2 | [ECA,]2 z [FCA,] [EB,^G,]2 |: [ECA,]4 [EDB,]2 | [ECA,]2 z [FCA,] [EB,^G,]2 | [V:Hl] A3 a ^ge | a2 z d eE |: A2 z a ^ge | a2 z d eE | % %5======================6============================7==================8============================ [V:Ct] e>d c2 dB | c2 A2 z2 | c2 z2 B/c/d | B2 z2 cG | w:strike__ the_ vi-ol, touch, touch,__ touch, touch_ [V:Hr1] [ECA,]4 [EDB,]2 | [ECA,]2 z [FCA,] [EB,^G,]2 | [ECA,]4 [FB,A,]2 |[FB,G,]2 z [DB,G,] [ECG,]2 | [V:Hl] A3 a ^ge | a2 z d eE | A3 a fd | g2 z g ec | % %9===============================10==================11================12============================ [V:Ct][L:1/16] ABc2 BA3G3 ^F |[L:1/8] E4 z2 | A^GAc B2 | c4 z2 | w:touch,__ touch__ the Lute; wake___ the Harp, [V:Hr1] [FCA,]2 z [FCA,] [DB,G,]2 | [ECG,]4 [EB,^G,]2 | [ECA,]4 [EDB,]2 | [ECA,]2 z [FCA,] [EB,^G]2 | [V:Hl] f2 z d gG | c2 z d eE | A2 z a ^ge | a2 z d eE | % %13====================14==========================15========================16============ [V:Ct] A^GAc B2 | c4 z2 | cBce d2 | e4 dc | w:wake___ the Harp; wake___ the Harp, in- [V:Hr1] [ECA,]4 [EDB,]2 | [ECA,]2 z [FCA,] [EB,^G]2 | [ECA,]2 z [ECG,] [DG,]2 | [ECG,]6 | [V:Hl] A2 z a ^ge | a2 z d eE | A2 z c BG | c2 z d ec | % %17=======================18========================19========================20================== [V:Ct][L:1/16] B3cABcdc3 B |[L:1/8] c4 z2 | cBcd e2 | e4 dc | w:spire______ the Flute; wake___ the Harp, in- [V:Hr1] [FB,A,]4 [FB,G,]2 | [ECG,]3 [FCA,] [DB,G,]2 | [ECG,]2 z [ECG,] [DG,]2 | [ECG,]4 [GCG,]2 | [V:Hl] f3 d gG | c3 d GG, | C2 z c BG | c3 d ec | % %21========================22==================23========================24============================= [V:Ct][L:1/16] B2c2Bcd2c3 B |[L:1/8] c4 z2 :| c4 z2 |: z2 G2 G2 | w:spire_____ the flute; flute; Sing, your [V:Hr1] [FB,A,]4 [FB,G,]2 | [ECG,]4 [EC^G,]2 :| [ECG,]2 z [FCA,] [DBG]2 |: [ECG,]2 z [FCA,] [DB,G,]2 | [V:Hl] f3 D gG | c2 z d cB :| c2 z F GG, |: c2 z F GG, | % %25============================26==========================27===============28=========================== [V:Ct] G4 G2 | ABAB c2 | B4 z2 | z2 d2 d2 | w:Pa-tro-ne----ss's praise, Sing your [V:Hr1] [ECG,]2 z [ECG,] [DG,]2 | [ECG,]2 z [ECA,] [^FCA,]2 | [GDB,]4 [ADC]2 | [GDB,]2 z [GEC] [^FDA,]2 | [V:Hl] C2 z c BG | c2 z A dD | G2 z g ^fd | g2 z c dD | % %29===================30==========================31================32===============33================== [V:Ct] d3e d2 | dedf e2 | f4 d2 | z2 B2 e2 | z2 A2 cB | w:Pa--tro-ness's____ praise, Sing, sing, sing, sing in_ [V:Hr1] [GDB,]4 [ADC]2 | [GDB,]2 z [FDA,] [E^CA,]2 | [FDA,]4 [ADA,]2 | [GDB,]4 [GEC]2 | [FCA,]4 [FDG,]2 | [V:Hl] G2 z g ^fd | g2 z d aA | d2 z e fd | g2 z g ec | f2 z f dB | % %34=======================35=========================36================37======================= [V:Ct] ^GE/^F/GFGF/E/ | AA/B/cBc/B/A | dB/c/dcd/c/B | cc/d/ede/d/c | w:cheer---------- [V:Hr1] [EB,^G,]4 [^GEB,]2 | [AEA,]2 z [^GEB,] [AEC]2 | [GDB,]4 [GFB,]2 | [GEC]2 z [GFD] [EC]2 | [V:Hr2] Z36 | z4 GA | [V:Hl] e2 z B eB | c2 z e ae | f2 z d gd | e2 z d cA | % %38=============39==========================40==========================41==== [V:Ct] fedc B A | AB A/B/c BA |[1 A4 z2 :|[2 A6 |] w:----full and har--mo---nious_ lays. [V:Hr1] [^GFB,]6 | [AEC]2 z [FCA,] [EB,^G,]2 |[1 [ECA,]2 z [ECG,] [DG,] :|[2 [ECA,]6 |] [V:Hl] e2 z B cA | e2 z d eE |[1 A2 z c BG :|[2 A6 |] To convert the code above to sheet music, or listen to the tunes, copy the code for a single song, then paste it here and [submit]. To listen to the Funeral March for Queen Mary II, click the gramophone.

I don't know about you, but after the funeral, I feel like something a bit more cheerful. What say we totter along to Drury Lane and see if Mr.Dryden has something new to entertain us?

Boys will be ... Gentlemen, please!

How do I look? Curly blond shoulder-length wig, frock coat, petticoat breeches, stockings held up by ribbon garters, high heels, and of course, this season's essential accessory for the young man about town, a rapier. During these jaunts back in time, it has become so routine to carry a weapon that I almost feel out of character when I return to my own time and relinquish it to the armoury. But at least I have never had to defend myself.

Our destination is the City of London, January of 1695, and the nation is in mourning for Queen Mary II. I suggest that our first stop should be one of the chocolate houses which have sprung up like mushrooms all over London. (I don't know about you, but I am quite ready to add myself to the growing number of chocolate addicts in the city!)

As we make our way to the business district, the streets are busy with traders crying their wares: "New Oysters!", "New Broomes for Old Shoes"

If we can, I would like to start our investigation at Mr.Ozinda's Chocolate House by St.James's Gate, in Whitehall, or perhaps Edward Lloyd's Coffee House. Both these establishments are fairly well-known places where businessmen loiter, and where clients can be fairly sure of finding them. It seems there is no shortage of choice! We are only a few doors down from the competing Frances White's Chocolate House.

Try to avoid the tables where the young men are gambling, I would prefer not to be too close if anybody starts a rumble. If we can, I'd rather find a quiet corner where we can browse the newspapers and listen to the conversations going on.

Have a look at this newspaper advertisement:

"In Bishopgate St, in Queen's Head Alley, at a FrenchMan's house, is an excellent West Indian drink called Chocolate to be sold, where you may have it ready at any time and also unmade at reasonable rates."

Now this looks more like our kind of company, heading this way. Do you see the elderly gentleman being guided by a younger man, and the two older fellows accompanying them? Would you do the honours and invite them to share our table, away from the hubbub of the gamblers?

Ah, here comes our chocolate, served with style in a beautiful silver pot. No wonder this stuff is so popular; we mix the whipped cream and sugar into it, in the same manner as everybody else, and... what a drink!

"Will you sit with us, gentlemen? We have here the Domestick Intelligence news sheet printed in London this week, and a new letter, the London Gazette."

"I thank you sir. My eyes are not as bright as once they were, and I am obliged to rely upon the assistance of Mr.Langridge here to conduct my business. Have you seen any word concerning Mr.Paterson?"

"I confess we have not." I have to pause for a moment trying to think who Mr.Paterson might be, but before I can come up with an answer, one of the elderly gentleman's companions supplies it for me.

"Mr.Pepys is of the opinion that Mr.Paterson has a scheme to grow fat by leeching from English men. Can you conceive of another venture for which you would be willing to pay another eight per cent per annum to service a loan? Were it not for the Dutch war, I doubt such a business would have found footing, but of course, Mr.Paterson is a Scotch Man!"

The penny drops (forgive the pun). Mr.Paterson is the Scottish financier who funded the loan to establish the Bank of England last year. The expenses incurred in fighting the Dutch were threatening to ruin the English economy, and Paterson stepped in with the offer of a loan of £1,200,000 to the English government. Subscribers to the venture were incorporated as the Governor and Bank of England, entitled among other things, to issue notes of credit, which as their future demonstrates, will be accepted as currency.The conversation turns to such topics as the rebuilding of the city under the direction of Sir Christopher Wren, whose Westminster Cathedral is still under construction. Somebody says that Sir Christopher himself described the dome as "a great pap, poking in the eye of heaven" and I barely manage to stifle a giggle at the idea of an English national monument described as a huge stone tit!

We must have made a good impression, because as the company leaves, Mr.Pepys invites us to the Red Lion inn this evening, to dine and sing glees. Although Mr.Purcell will not be with us, being otherwise engaged with preparations for the funeral of the late queen, we are promised a merry evening.

<=== @ ===>

The hour is 9.30pm as nearly as I can gauge it. The tables are pushed back to the walls, and songsheets are handed around.

"Now gentlemen," our Master of Ceremonies is a portly fellow with a roast-beef complexion, "that you have your fill of good mutton, let us make a start with Ale and Tobacco".

"And now, from our own Mr.Henry Purcell, who regrets he cannot be with us this evening, but sends us this offering, in his own best hand:"

X:1 % number

T:Sir Walter Enjoying His Damsel One Day % title

C:Henry Purcell % composer

O:Www.Laymusic.org % origin.

M:3/4 % meter

L:1/4 % length of shortest note

Q:240 % tempo

K:Bb % key

V:1 % voice 1

z z B, | F F F | G G/A/ B | E E/F/ G | F2 F | B>C B |

w:Sir Wal-ter en-joy-ing his dam-sel one night, he tick-l'd and

c A B/ c/ | c>B c | d2 || c/ c/ | c F A | B2 B/ A/ |
w:pleas'd her to so great a de-light that she cou'd not con-tain t'wards the

G>A B | A A B/ c/ | d<B d | e2 f | A2 A | B !fermata! B || f |

w:end of the mat-ter, but in rap-ture cry'd out: "O sweet Sir Wal-ter, O

f/ e/ e/ e e/ | e/ d/ d/ d d/ | d<c c/ B/ | c c f |

w:sweet Sir Wal-ter, O sweet Sir Wal-ter, O sweet Sir, sweet Sir Wal-ter, O

f/ d/ d/ B/ G/ E/ | C/ D/ E/ C/ D/ E/ | F/ E/ F/ D/ E/ F/ | B, !fermata! B, z |]

w:swit-ter swat-ter swit-ter swat-ter swit-ter swat-ter swit-ter swat-ter swit-ter swat-ter!

I should also clarify that "switter swatter" might be in the lyric, but one or two of the wags in the company were substituting their own words at this point.

To convert the code above to sheet music, or listen to the tunes, copy the code for a single song, then paste it here and [submit].