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Friday, June 5, 2009

A Gen'leman and a Scholar!

The ExplorerIf my blogs are a bit less intense over the next few weeks, it will be because I have been entrusted with a protegé whom it is my responsibility to educate in the practical matters of temporal exploration. When Madam Director first presented Dr.X (not his real name) to me I was a little surprised; in the years that I have been exploring, I have learned not to react overmuch to the astonishing variety of costumes with which humanity cover their nakedness but even so, Dr.X managed to take me rather by surprise.

The gentleman standing beside my working table was outfitted in frock-coat, and leather gloves, carrying a silver-capped cane and a top hat, and from his vest pockets two chains dangled (two pocket-watches?). My first thought was that he had not had time to change his dress after returning from an excursion. But then I noticed the goggles perched on the rim of the top hat which he was carrying. As well as shoulder-length hair he sported the most magnificent mutton-chop whiskers I think I have ever seen!
Later in the course of introduction, I learned that one chain supported his rather splendid pocketwatch, a late Victorian original with the most beautiful engraving, while the other connected to a magnificent brass compass with a miniature sextant built in!
I have to admit that since stretching the fabric of the universe in order to escape from the playpen of the present and go exploring sometimes results in unexpected arrivals in the farthest reaches of possibility, Dr.X seems like an ideal recruit, at least at first glance. But I can't take my eyes off his beautiful silk hat!

Not surprisingly, Dr.X wanted to discuss some of the items on the departure briefing list at length.
        Before departure: items to review   
  • Healthcare
             
    • familiarize yourself with common herbal remedies
    •        
    • garlic - good for repelling lice
    •        
    • cloves - helpful for minor toothache
    •        
    • mint - for chest congestion and digestive upsets
    •        
    • fennel seed tea - helps regulate digestion
    •    
  •    
  • Fire
             
    • lighters - not allowed
    •        
    • safety matches - not allowed
    •        
    • learn to use flint & steel to light tinder
    •        
    • carry a tinderbox
    •    
  •    
  • Water
             
    • learn to recognize safe sources of potable water
    •    
  •    
  • Forbidden (unless cleared by departure operator)
             
    • personal electrical/electronic devices (including hearing aids)
    •        
    • watches
    •        
    • synthetic jewelry
    •        
    • synthetic fabrics
    •        
    • modern paper items
    •        
    • contraceptives
    •                
    • fountain or biro pens
    •        
    • lead pencils
    •        
    • eraser
    •        
    • contact lenses
    •        
    • toilet paper (if a sponge or rag is not provided, be prepared to experiment with alternatives! grass, moss, etc.)
    •    
among other things.
What kind of steampunk would you be?
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